Commoner

You are proficient in the use of artisan's tools as weapons, and add your expertise bonus when attacking with them. The deal 1d4 of whatever damage type is appropriate for the tool.

All of your ability scores are 10, and cannot be naturally increased. You are nothing special.

And yet you know you're destined for greatness! You can give yourself advantage on any d20 roll by gritting your teeth and looking danger in the eye. You regain the use of this ability when you finish a short or long rest.

Starting at 2nd level, you can survive the adventuring life through sheer coincidence. When you would be killed or reduced to 0 hp, you may tell the story (10 seconds or less) of how the darnedest thing happened that completely prevented the effect. You regain the use of this ability when you finish a long rest.

You're surrournded by badasses, why not be like them!? When you finish a long rest, pick an ally you can see. Choose one piece of equipment, one skill, and one saving throw with which that ally is proficient. You gain those proficiencies until you choose a new ally or you spend more than 3 days without spending time with the chosen ally.

At 3rd level, whenever you finish a short or long rest, a bright yellow exclamation mark appears above your head. Choose up to three allies within 10 feet, and give them each one of the following quests:

HA! Just kidding. You still cannot raise your scores above 10.

Take a feat

Starting at 5th level, you're beginning to think you're good at this! And every real hero needs a kickass personal move list.

When you hit with your artisan's tools, you can shout the name of a special move to add {dice 5d4} damage to the attack and choose one of the following effects:

You can use this ability 3 times, and regain all uses after a short or long rest.

Starting at 6th level, your regain the The Darnedest Thing whne you finish a short or long rest.

Starting at 7th level, if an attack or effect would inflict more than half of your current hp, it deals half your current hp (rounded up) instead.

You can use this ability a number of times equal to 2 + your charisma modifier (HA!!), and it refreshes when you finish a short or long rest.

You still cannot raise your scores above 10. ... you do get that right?

Take a feat

By level 9, you have been collecting scrap and hand-me-downs and somehow cobbled them into something functional. You gain an uncommon magic item of your choice -- subject to DM approval -- ideally based on your artisan's tools.

You gain a new uncommon item at level 11, a rare item at level 13, and a very rare item at level 18.

At level 10, you convince yourself that you must be something special. Maybe you're part dragon! Or part rust monster! Choose one of the following benefits

By level 11, you have been collecting scrap and hand-me-downs and somehow cobbled them into something functional. You gain an additional uncommon magic item of your choice -- subject to DM approval -- ideally based on your artisan's tools.

All scores increase to 30.

Kidding. You still cannot raise your scores above 10.

Take another feat

By level 13, you have been collecting scrap and hand-me-downs and somehow cobbled them into something functional. You gain a rare magic item of your choice -- subject to DM approval -- ideally based on your artisan's tools.

At level 14, you have mastered the art of avoiding the gaze of the great and powerful. When an enemy targets you (and only you), roll a d4. On a 1 or a 2, the enemy's action resolves as normal. On a 3, it targets another valid target. On a 4, it stares at you in confusion, wondering how a commoner got this far.

At level 15, you can pick another benefit from Never Did Know my Grandma. You can choose the same one twice.

ok NOW you can....

Psych! You still cannot raise your scores above 10.

Take another feat

At level 17, you've managed to master your artisan's tools, despite all this adventuring! They add a +3 bonus to all attack, damage, and crafting rolls made with them, and you have world class skill in their use. Your DM will tell you what you can do with that, because crafting rules (RAW) are often just thrown out.

By level 18, you have been collecting scrap and hand-me-downs and somehow cobbled them into something functional. You gained an very rare magic item of your choice -- subject to DM approval -- ideally based on your artisan's tools.

At level 19, you have crippling existential crisis as you ponder what it means to be a 19th level commoner.

At 20th level, you can have up to 8 Questgiver quests active at once.